


Quiet Your Crestfallen Thoughts

by calmingmotions



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Crying, M/M, References to Yamori, Self-Depriciating Thoughts, attempted suicide, torture aftermath
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-23
Updated: 2016-09-23
Packaged: 2018-08-16 21:54:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8118877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/calmingmotions/pseuds/calmingmotions
Summary: He was worthless.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Have fun cause I know I didn't :))  
> (Please read tags before reading!)

There was nothing for him here. There was nothing for him to live for, nothing to look forward to. No one would miss him, he'd been cast aside so easily, anyways. He had nothing. He was worthless, there was no other way to put it. He was shattered completely, unfixable. 

He stared at his own red tendril, snaking along the wooden grounds sat on, as if in a trance, the texture soft and pliant as he gently ran a hand along it's surface. The tendril sharpened suddenly under his touch as his thoughts changed from sad and self-pitying to angered. 

Why had they even left him alone in the first place? Why had they sat aside while he was hurt repeatedly, pained cries and pleas for help escaping him endlessly, none of them to be answered, no one coming to the rescue he had desperately needed. Why had they let him become so broken? Why had they let his fate unravel to the point that nothing could be returned to normal. 

He will never be the same because they had abandoned him. He will never be the Kaneki his friends had loved. He was now some twisted version of that lost boy, a similar picture that had been torn apart and scratched out. 

The kagune softened once again as the ghoul felt hot tears running down his face, slouching down even further against the pale wall. The tears streaked his pale cheeks, creating glistening tracks over his features as sobs wracked his bruised chest, causing even more pain than his thoughts were giving him. 

He was so, so broken. He could never lead a normal life. Who would ever love him? Who would ever love this shattered shell of someone long gone? Someone abandoned by their own mother, hurt by their own aunt? 

Someone who not even his friends had tried to save?

The half-ghoul watched the tendrils snake across the wooden floor slowly, his expression devastatingly heartbroken. No one would ever love a monster like him.

The room was cold, no one in the cafe to turn on the heater. Kaneki resided in the upper floor of Anteiku, in one of the rooms, which one, he wasn't sure. This was the first place he went after escaping his own hell, the last place he could call home. Tears continued to fall, splashing down softly against red and brown, weapon and floor, as a kagune settled into his lap, seeming to have a mind of it's own.

He was this awful experiment gone wrong, a freak of nature. An abomination to both ghouls and humans. Utterly, pathetically worthless. Even as an experiment he failed. 

The kagune sharpened once more, but not in anger, but at the overwhelming feeling of loss that was his crumpled reality setting in once more. A single kagune rose from trailing the floor, the point gently grazing the soft skin of his neck. A soft sigh escaped the boy as he let the tendril do as it pleased, no longer in full control of anything. The kagune drew blood, red mixing against pale white, tainting his already mauled skin further.

Before anything could continue, before he could end his miserable life, a loud slam was heard from downstairs. Numerous frantic yells could be heard, all calling for him. The half-ghoul didn't even flinch. Some yells sounded desperate, some fearful. There were five, in all, three female, two male. The half-ghoul could barely bring himself to care, waiting for his own weapon to shed his cursed blood. 

Footsteps thundered up the stairs, the person creating such noise desperately yelling. Tears blurred Kaneki's vision, pushing harder against his own neck, trying to take back control and slice through his cold skin before anyone could see him in his pathetic state.

The door flew open, the half-ghoul not moving as his name was yelled in a panicked tone. The person making such a racket pulled the kagune away forcefully, placing smooth fingers against his neck, checking to see how severe the wound was. 

The voice was so familiar, but with the ringing in his ears, Kaneki had trouble placing it. It wouldn't matter anyways, once he got some time to himself nothing would matter and his existence would hopefully fade away. 

Yellow. He could see yellow. His vision blurred from tears, the ringing in his ears slowly calming. He barely caught onto the words that were being spoken to him quickly by that painfully familiar voice.

"Oh my god we thought you we dead we were so worried where were you why did you run off are you okay are you hurt do you need anything please talk to me!" All said rapidly, consecutively, one word after the other. The voice, he recognized it now. It was Hide. Hide. Hide Hide Hide.

More tears blurred the half-ghoul's vision as the small mantra repeated itself, falling off his lips as he cried and sobbed out "Hide Hide Hide Hide," over and over. His dearest friend pulled him into his arms, tightly embracing the shaken ghoul as Kaneki buried his face into Hide's neck, continuing his speech even as he breathed in the comforting scent of his childhood friend.

Other voices sounded through the hall as they raced upstairs, and he slowly began recognizing them one by one. Hinami. Touka. Nishiki. Kimi. All here. Searching desperately for him. Him. This broken, fragment of a person. 

The ghoul cried harder as Hinami embraced him, the young girl letting her own worried tears fall. Touka joined the three and hugged the half-ghoul close, repeating similiar words to Hide, sounding just as worried. Nishiki and Kimi did the same as the six created a big hug group, surrounding the broken boy in the middle of it all, asking where he's been and if he's okay. 

And he isn't, he isn't okay in the slightest. Sobbing out the words, Hide wiping the tears off his cheeks. He didn't even know how they'd recognized him, with his stark white hair, black nails and bruised skin. The others stopped their flow of words, Hide speaking instead in reply to Kaneki's words. 

"We'll help you Kaneki. Whatever you need, we'll help, no matter how challenging. You're our friend, and we want you healthy and happy, so put these," Hide gestured to the still sharpened kagune, which were now being held away from the unstable half-ghoul by Nishiki and Touka, "away, and we'll help you." 

The others nodded and voiced their agreement at the words, and in the moment, Kaneki was overwhelmed.

He had just escaped a living nightmare that would haunt him forever, and all of his friends were here, trying to console and help him, asking where he had been. They hadn't known where he was, and he had just assumed they knew, but were leaving him to die. His friends had cared, they had worried. About him. 

He cried, but the tears weren't all bad. He had friends, he had people who cared about him, and they were offering their support. He cried tears of absolute, unabashed joy, unbelieving that he had such kind people in his life.

Maybe, maybe he would be okay, at least someday. And in that group of worried and supporting people, all hugging them and giving him their encouragement, he realized that maybe one day he could be normal and happy again


End file.
